Cold knees and empty rooms

I’m sitting here with an ice pack numbing my knee after showing my medically-minded housemate the bruise that has appeared after I slipped while stepping into the shower this morning (I whacked my left knee on the edge of the claw-footed bath/shower that we live with) … Apparently the window of opportunity for icing this is 72 hours, so here I sit … left knee well on its way to being rather cold. I almost want to grab a granny rug for the other knee in an attempt to counteract the cold and even out my overall body temperature!

This weekend we’ve gone from having four bodies living in the house, to only having three again. Well, for at least a week … My brother has moved on, after finding a nice house in Glen Iris to share with a couple of mates. However, a friend of Leanne’s called Maree will be taking up residency in the rear room from next weekend, for an as-yet-undefined amount of time. Adding a fourth person didn’t create as much of a strain on the plumbling resources as we had feared, and Maree will be joining us for meals where my brother didn’t (too fussy an eater who is likely to develop scurvy from a lack of vitamins in his diet). It should be good … and the kick-back of paying less rent will be once again favourably recevied by the three “official” tenants (me, L & Jim).

My brother had stayed on a couple of weeks longer than we had originally anticipated & agreed upon, but that was because, amidst starting a new job and trying to find housemates and a house, he made the significant decision of calling off his [previously] forthcoming wedding. Regular readers will remember my plea for good news a few weeks ago (I still blame the entirety of the day’s events on the Winter Solstice), where at the time I felt I couldn’t reveal the reason for my flatness and grumpiness… That was because at the time of writing I knew that other members of my family were still to be told about the decision that my brother and his [now ex-] fiance had made; to go their separate ways after a great deal of thinking and talking and pondering, and even professional counselling, about their future – or lack thereof – together. Even though absolutely none of the family members who I was thinking of would ever read my blog (they don’t even have the internet on!), I felt that at the time it was not my place to write about it yet.

Initially, my thoughts on the news was that it was, once again, a knee-jerk reaction to a fight, and that it would probably be sorted out in advance of the wedding date of December 3rd. After speaking with my brother about it in more depth, I saw that what actually had happened was that he had put up his hand, held it out in front of him and said “Stop” and gained control of his life back. “Irreconcilable differences”; which means that they had different thoughts about things, wanted different things and were ultimately headed in different directions. The proposal (made just over a year ago) was a follow-through on a flippant statement once made, and was not what my brother wanted then or now or in the future… I remember at the time thinking it was a bit odd (though my blog entry about it would not have really conveyed that slight uneasiness) and that perhaps my thought that my brother was not the marrying-young-kind was a bit off, whereas I see now that I had a rather vague sense of something being not quite right at the time …

I firmly believe that a mature and responsible decision has been made. I also think my brother is really brave for initiating a really hard thing to do – calling off your own wedding six months beforehand (although, better than leaving it until the day before or the day of! Definitely better than going through with it and facing the d-word in one/two/five/ten years’ time!) Hopefully, the splitting of assets and separation of the two dogs can be done in a predominantly friendly manner … I’d hate to see it deteriorate into a nasty and bitter fight about dollars and cents.

You can understand why I was feeling a bit flat a few weeks ago when all this went down … The upside of it, which I realised after a few days had passed by, is that whereas I previously had to rush back from our fundraising cycling trip to Sri Lanka for the wedding (was going to fly back in on the 1st of December, with the wedding scheduled for the 3rd of December), Leanne and I can now stay on for a bit longer after cycling Sri Lanka. We’re thinking of a trip to India and staying a bit longer when we have a stop over in Thailand on the way home. I’ll keep you updated as the plans progress over the next month …


~ by pincushiondiary on July 17, 2005.

3 Responses to “Cold knees and empty rooms”

  1. That’s a very tough and brave decision on your brother’s part.

    But if you’re coming to Thailand… please factor in a visit to Sangkhla!

  2. That’s a sad outcome, but as you say, in the long run tis all for the best. I hope it stays amicable, for all those concerned.

    And I’m really glad for you now that you can travel extra. It’ll be lovely to be able to relax after your “working” holiday and take some time to see more of the world while you can. Goodness knows, I’d love to be able to do that one day too!

  3. Rae – you were comment #450!
    Mel – will you still be in Sangkhla at the end of November? If so, YAY! and we’ll definitely try really hard to make our way to you!

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