Explaining myself a little

Iím feeling a little bit sad and disillusioned today, as I was yesterday Ö

You see, Iím still fairly new to this blogging thing. My blog was born on 30 December 2003, and Iíve seen that others have been blogging for many more years than I. I really donít have the technical savvy to understand what goes on behind the scenes with my blog, and as you can see I donít have the skills necessary to give my blog more colour and/or levels of information Ö yet! It is my desire to gain some of these skills, and I have one of my tutors all lined up alreadyÖ Heís ready to go computer shopping when I am! See, one of the hurdles is that currently I only have my computer at work and my housemateís laptop to use to blog, and am waiting until I have complete control of a machine of my own to really sink my teeth in to this pastime.

So why am I disillusioned? Well, a number of reasons sometimes Ö but this week in particular and with particular reference to blogging, I am sad for the death of a blog that I used to like to read and the reasons for the death of that blog, as well as being sad because of the rude comments and the spam comments that keep appearing on my blog when Iím not looking.

For starters, I donít understand why it is that people/someone in particular finds it amusing/rewarding/whatever to make rude and derogatory comments on the blog of someone who they donít know at all (well, Iím assuming that they donít know me, because I didnít think anyone I know would write this kind of stuff about anyone). Iím not going to repeat any of it here, but what possible motive can there be for writing nasty comments about what I have to say on my blog, let me just remind whoever you are if you are reading, MY blog!? Okay, if you wanted a reaction, this is it. If you wanted to make me feel sad/bad/mad, then you failed on the first two. I am far more confident than that mister, and I really just felt sad for you because you have nothing better to do with your time and energy than to write worthless comments on the blogs of people you donít know. You donít have the decency to properly identify yourself, and if by chance I do know you, you could at least tell me in person that you donít enjoy reading my blog. Or, hereís a nifty solution, just stop reading my blog altogether! I donít care! I know that lots of people who I do care about and who care about me read my blog. I also know that lots of people who are friends of my friends read my blog. I appreciate all of my readers! They nearly all comment from time to time, and they always comment constructively and to add something of their own experience of me or of their own life to my blog. I really enjoy some of the comments that are left on my blog, and I really look forward to checking what comments have been posted with a childlike anticipation some days. Well, that was until Mr-Potty-Mouth and the auto-spammers came along and left their rubbishy comments Ö

As for being sad about the death of anotherís blog, I mostly just want to take this opportunity to remind blog readers, especially the lurkers who read but never comment or identify their presence, that you are privy to information that sometimes under normal relational circumstances you wouldnít otherwise be privy to. I often write about trivial little things that go on in my life on my blog. Sometimes I write more from the heart. If you read between the lines you can often get a strong sense of my mood and emotion on any given day. Even just the title of my blog is of deep significance to me. Some people know the origins of the title, others donít. I chose to name my blog ĎDiary of a Perseverant Pincushioní, and in doing so, I chose to be a little bit vulnerable about identifying a certain aspect of my life. For those who donít know, but who have wondered, I call my blog this because I have to inject myself with medication for an autoimmune disease three bloody times a week. I am a pincushion. I am a perseverant pincushion because, well, donít we all persevere through life? I connect with this word; I persevere, on a number of levels, and in particular for those of the Biblical leaning, because of a few verses in Romans chapter 5. Have a read sometime.

I really enjoy finding out that people read my blog. I choose to put stories and tales on my blog for you all to read. You are my audience. I mostly try to be vague about who I am talking about, but sometimes am bolder about that. Sometimes, I am just tired and it is easier to write a story and actually name someone than it is to beat around the bush and not name them. I am quite open about the fact that I work at La Trobe University in the History Program. It is unlikely that any of the academics about whom I whinge will ever visit my blog, though this may come back to bite me one day when they get to know me a little better and discover that I have this pastime. For this reason, and upon reflecting as to why anotherís blog died this week, I will try to whinge less and tell stories more. Maybe it is a case of taking my blog up a notch? Putting more soul into it Ö? Becoming more vulnerable Ö? Iím still undecided. I may remain that way for quite some time. I may fluctuate. At the end of the day, it is my prerogative to do whatever I please, because it is my blog. It is a place for me to lay down my thoughts and find a moment of refreshment at the beginning/middle/end of the day. Is it a place for me to record my thoughts for posterity? Well, in so much as one can say that an electronic diary will be kept for posterity (ever the historian loving the handwritten Ö) and not simply deleted with the press of a button.

Iíll finish this rant now. Both because I have probably vented enough for this moment, but also because I want to go home for the day Ö Thanks for reading. If you continue to, it may just get better and more colourful!

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~ by pincushiondiary on November 10, 2004.

12 Responses to “Explaining myself a little”

  1. *Stands and applauds*

    Well said! I too, cannot stand the way that you are allowing someone to see into a place of you that isn’t always open for viewing, and someone comes along and seagulls* all over you. I mean, what exactly is their point? You’ve written something to 1. get it off your chest, or 2. tell the world about something hilarious/sad/important to you/interesting/whatever. The one thing I don’t understand is why someone who doesn’t agree with you would just stop reading. It’s like telly programs. People keep watching and whinging. It’s a lot easier to switch it off and go do something else. How about reading a book or expanding yourself in some other way.

    Human nature. It would be good if more people were understanding and cared. I’m afraid the world has changed and it my not get better. That’s pretty frightening to me.

    Anyway, great blog. Love to read and will continue to do so.

    *seagull = flies in, shits all over everything, squawks and flies off. No chance of being shat on in return.

  2. Yeah! Damn straight! I don’t know you and yet still I keep reading. Glad to see you’re putting it out there. I hope to read many more posts in future.

  3. Don’t let the gits get you down Trish. And keep up the good work.

  4. I don’t know you from a bar of soap (why do we use that phrase) yet I really enjoy your writing. Maybe one day we will pass eachother on the street and never know.

    Keep up the great work. You are a pleasure to read.

  5. Awww … Thanks Rae, mjd, Daniel and Richard! Love the seagull analogy, and really appreciate hearing from readers who don’t know me but enjoy reading my blog. You are all welcome. Thanks for your support. I won’t be letting the gits get even close to getting me down anymore!

  6. I agree with Rae, I’ve seen some of these comments before they’ve been deleted and been quite gobsmacked at the content. The seagull analogy is most apt.

    Keep it up Trish. :o)

  7. The internet is an overly vivid representation of the offline society – it’s full of morons. Problem with the net is that because it’s so easy to see so much, the scum floating to the top is so much more visible…

    Ditto all the above statements – ignore the buggers, we’re enjoying your blog ūüôā

  8. Trish, I would not worry so much about colour and movement – content is king, right? (IE: my blog:very colourful, no content.) As for those who feel to write unsavoury comments – I have resorted to leaving mine for the public to see – but to delete and ignore is better – in fact let’s stop talking about such tossers.

    Your writing is frank and very candid – don’t change baby!

  9. What more can I say that has not already been said. I am proud of you for all you have done, all you have written and for all the things you will do in the future.

    You are strong, you are brave and more impotantly truthful. Aspects which obviously are not the qualities of some. Keep up the Blogging, and feel free to express your feelings, emotions and thoughts, how you choose. And for those that do not know this wonderful, interesting and caring person, but who read this Blog, keep doing so as if you were to ever meet Trish you would instantly understand why you read her Blog and why I say these things.

    B

  10. ūüėÄ

  11. Hey Trish, came over from following your comments on another blog I read, and I find your story (everybody has a story, right?) very inspirational. plain jane blog but with a lot of promise, those are my favorites because they are like most people you meet in life, a bit non-descript but if you take the time to get to know them you find truth and beauty.

    btw, is that what happened to one of my fav’s “where the wild thoughts are” ? I miss it very much.
    J.M.

  12. “Where the wild thoughts are” is the blog that has died … hopefully the author will be back to blogging soon in a different place, where she can find solace and write her story, and remain more anonymous … One day, when I’ve learned how to make a list of my favourite links and when the wild things are posted under a different name, I’ll link to it!

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